Does anyone regret breaking up
Still, both parties are prone to feeling sad and regretful. In fact, the person who did the dumping can experience a unique form of regret. Barbara Neitlich, licensed clinical social worker and author of Stop Dating Like a Teenager , termed this phenomenon as "dumper's remorse" in an interview with Glamour. After leaving a partner, you may start to feel bad for doing so, which can cause you to experience regrets and even contemplate getting back with your ex.
However, Neitlich advises asking yourself: "What would it truly be like getting back together again? You thought love-goggles were bad? They don't hold a candle to breakup-goggles. Why do we do it? If all you remembered were the bad parts of a relationship, you may not want to get back into a relationship at all. In some cases, idealizing your past relationship can cause you to want to get back with your ex and feel regrets after a breakup.
Panganiban recommends "taking some time to yourself" to avoid succumbing to nostalgia. Marriage and family therapist Sophia Reed told Bustle , "Whenever you break up with someone, there may always be a feeling of regret. At some point, you did actually care about that person, and even if the breakup was the right decision, you can still feel bad about it because of the way the relationship turned out.
If your relationship was great at the start, you may feel regrets after a breakup because of how different the relationship had become by its end. Or, you may be tempted to put on those breakup-goggles and see things as not as bad as they were, but this is where your friends' opinions can come in handy.
I think you're better off,' then pay attention," Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today , told the publication. It's also important to heed Reed's sage advice: "Even though you feel regret does not mean that it was the wrong choice. As the dumper, you may be feeling regrets after a breakup not for deciding to split, but for "having to hurt that person through the breakup itself," marriage and family therapist Sophia Reed told Bustle.
If you love the person you broke up with, chances are you didn't want to cause any pain. But them's the breaks, right? Breakups suck whether we want them to or not. As such, it's natural to feel sad and even remorseful for hurting your one-time partner. As hard as ending a relationship may be, relationship experts say clear-cut breakups are vital. She added, saying, "No good comes from doing a slow ignore and fade out.
It's disrespectful to them and it's not a conscious, mindful way to be living your own life. Ultimately I stuck it out and, sure enough, that all proved to be my grief talking. My parents who have a great marriage, but are very different from each other have always said a lasting relationship is built on kindness, not a perfect match. I think a lot of us are at odds with their generation in this way. That may be the enduring challenge of life itself!
Which do you think you are? You are not a monster for wanting something else. What you did was save yourself from a relationship you knew you would continue to find unfulfilling.
You answered your gut, in spite of your fear, and if you reread your question, you said as much yourself. I think your decision was ultimately a kindness to her, too. By Leandra M. By Daniela Guerrero. Julie Nguyen mbg Contributor.
Julie Nguyen is a writer, certified relationship coach, Enneagram educator, and former matchmaker based in Brooklyn, New York.
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Is life better after the breakup? Was the relationship not working because the partner was not treating you properly? How did they see you reflected in the relationship? Were there any signs or symptoms of an unhealthy relationship? Without assigning blame, see what dynamics led to your relationship dissatisfaction and influenced your decision to leave.
Were you or your partner judgmental? Did you not give each other the benefit of the doubt? Did you not appropriately take a stand for what you needed in the relationship? Did you tend to make your partner wrong when most of what couples fight about is simply a matter of opinion? Take full responsibility for your part of the dance. This is a good time to practice radical acceptance. The ability to tolerate our feelings, even the painful ones, is a sign of emotional health and a necessary skill for good relationships.
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